Boot Hill

News article 8/17/12:

From the Ballpark at Arlington – In the top of the 5th, 72 people had fatal heart attacks, 64 have massive debilitating strokes and 17 lose arms and/or legs to gangrene brought on by type 2 diabetes.  All of this was brought on by a stray Mets fan that was allowed to roam out of its natural habitat.  The Mets fan initiated “the Wave”, which according to many authorities on the subject is a “tragically misguided attempt by Mets fans to blend in at any baseball game.”

The Rangers’ owner, President, and CEO Nolan Ryan was quoted as saying “I guess I should have advertised for Bayer aspirin instead of Advil, maybe there would have been at least a few survivors of all those heart attacks.  Instead their dead.  Live and learn.”

In a rare press appearance since leaving the White House, President George W. Bush had this to say : “We gave them nachos, but they stepped up and made this an arms race (sic with the  Champion Dog).  I never saw this going nuclur (nuclear). Damn”

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